Mayberry

Pappy's wife, Suzi, died last month. They had been married over 35 years. Note: when he married her, she had SIX children. That, my friends, is true love. Anyway, Pappy is so sad that I decided to join the casserole brigade. I called the shop to let him know I would bring dinner. Phone out of order. I call his house and "Becky" answers (a daughter, I think). She told me to leave a message with his son who works at Carter's (the local and only saloon). Following me so far? I call Randy and tell him that I am bringing dinner. When shall I deliver it?

"Sweetheart, the house is open. Just stick it in the fridge. Thanks."

I make a chicken pot pie and head down the hill. Can't remember which is Pappy's house so I enter the Nye Mall with chicken potpie in hand. Judy points out Pappy's house and I head down the side street (one block long). Bill Myers drives by. "You like asparagas?" Sure! He reaches in the back seat of his pickup and gives me a handful of wild asparagas that he had "harvested."

Later today, I get a phone call from the UPS guy who can't find my house (street signs would be helpful but there is some disagreement as to the correct name of my street). He is leaving my package at the Nye Mall and asks that I draw a map for him so he can find me next time.

and that is the best part of life in a small town.

Undaunted

Despite "issues" with every do-it-yourself project this summer, I am taking on a new one. A Big Project. This is a testimony to fearlessness, the inability to learn a lesson, or lack of money. Perhaps all of the above.



Problem: This cabin only has 3 beds and I have dibs on one. There is a crappy futon that can sleep another. My brother and his family are coming in a month and I need 4 beds.



Solutions:

A. I looked into buying a teepee (or tipi) and found a very cool one based on Souix designs. But I am not sure that I would be able to set it up and take it down by myself. In addition, this is a bit of a limited use item and a $500 purchase.



B. I have a free-standing garage! There is a large room over the garage...... that has not been used in - oh- 15 years. but, there is electricity. And, it is spacious. So, off we go.

Step one: drag a nasty mattress and boxspring down a flight of stairs.

Step two: gag

Step three: sweep up 15 years of miller moth particles, rodent droppings, dirt, etc.

Step four: look up "hantavirus" on Internet


that is all for today.... but



Next: use shop vac over whole floor, wash walls



Plan: use stack of old barnwood in garage for trim, exchange fluorescent lights for ceiling fans, paint, paint and paint.



Furnish with thrift store finds.

Stay tuned. I just don't think it is going to go this smoothly.

What's the poop?

Dear readers,

In Atlanta, the poop is neatly scooped up in the New York Times plastic bag and placed, typically, in a non-dog owning neighbor's trash can. And if you want to see a Montanan spray beer through his nose, inform him that you always pick up your dog's turds at home. He will simply not believe you.

But, it is a whole wide world of poop out here! the top picture is bear.... black bear... and there is lots of bear poop to be found this time of year. And below the bear, you find mountain lion. At least that what I think it is. Followed by fresh elk. Spring elk poop. It becomes more pellet like as the summer progresses. How did I learn all of this? Well, I have a handly little book "Scat and Tracks of the Rocky Mountains." I am sure you can all download this on your Kindle. No home should be without it. I did not include the more pedestrian deer poop and mule deer poop but if inquiring readers want to know........

Hail and rhubarb

You say you have already had rhubarb jam, rhubarb jelly and rhubarb pie? and you still have more from the garden? Fear not! Simply bring a box of rhubarb to the post office and someone will surely take it away.

Before the hail the beautiful West Fork of the Stillwater River. I was on an early season search for pudding stones.

I really get the giggles..... whenever we have hail, I always think of someone from North Georgia swearing.

Today was simply beautiful and then about 3:30, major clouds rolled in and the sky darkened. Soon, there was thunder and lightning and an anxious dog. And then -- Hail. (Hail, momma, I done filled the pawpaw truck with gas-o-lean).

now, an hour later -- the sky is blue and beautiful and the birds are chirping away. In this part of Montana, they say, "don't like the weather? Wait 15 minutes.) yep, it changes that quickly.

Small town charm

The howling winds of the past few days have abated and people are no longer quoting lines from The Wizard of Oz. So, time to focus on what is great here.

1. I went to the "Nye Mall" for some provisions (store is about the size of a small garage and every inch is covered with merchandise ranging from fishing line to diapers, from beer to thumbtacks). No carts or baskets. You just start stacking your stuff on Bill's table. I checked out and realized, halfway up the hill, that I did not remember putting the can of soup in a bag. Got home and there was a phone message from Connie apologizing for not seeing the can by the penny jar. huh? that does not happen in Atlanta... even at my wonderful Publix.

2. out on manuevers, I stopped at the Muddy Lamb to pick up a homemade candle. Carol, the owner, was nowhere to be found. Gretchen, a local artist, was finishing up and project and wanted to pay Carol for something. After 5 minutes, I just wrote Carol a note, left money on the counter, took my candle and left. Gotta love that faith in your customer!

oh, and while I was there, I signed for the UPS delivery. I went next door to the Fishtail General Store and the UPS guy went there too, bought a soft drink and a piece of pizza and sat by the cashier to enjoy lunch and a visit.

The latest episode of Green Acres: To save money, I decided that any idiot (namely, me) could stain a deck. How hard could it be? I bought a 5 gallon drum of stain. Naturally, the job was a bit more than I anticipated so the staining took place over the course of several days (interrupted by rain which is contraindicated for staining). I finished the last batch yesterday morning and the bottom of the barrel was a much different color than the rest. Had I not sitted the stain enough during the process? Was this a curse by the DYI gods? All I need is a pile of empty beer cans (PBR could be best) to complete the effect. great.

The morning is amazingly still today... the only sound -- birds. and my snoring dog.

Welcome to Green Acres - Big Sky

Well, the mass emails go to spam which I assume is not an editorial comment. So, I have decided to resume blogging after a lengthy hiatus. This chronicles my hapless adventures in home improvement as well as life in a small Montana town. My non d'plume? The Dudette

Today I learned the lesson of patience. Well, at least I was given the opportunity to learn that lesson. Unlike life in Hotlanta where you can hire someone to do ANYTHING at your house from roof repair to decorating the Christmas tree, Montana is the land of do-it-yourself because there ain't no one else. So, time to stain the deck. It rained last night but the sky was looking blue this morning. The weedwhacker was jammed so I decided that staining the deck was a great plan. The extendo roller kept collapsing. The stain dribbled all over my pants. My fingers were stuck together. and clouds appeared in the sky. Time to read directions. "Be sure to use stain when rain is not expected for at least 24 hours." shit. Not only that, a helpful neighbor pointed out that it is best to let the deck dry out from the previous day's rain. double shit.

Local color? YES! Book your tickets west as "Christ Clowns from the Life in Christ Circus are coming to Stillwater County." I just can't imagine Jesus with a Bozo wig. I will have to say that part of me really wants to go.... I just can't imagine.

Or, consider the Anipro Arena Spring Consignment Auction on June 19th!! Were you looking for a MVE 3523 semen tank? Perhaps a steak cuber or meat saw. And, yes, dear shoppers, "surrey, fringe top, very nice" also for sale. You can't make this up.

and finally, from the Law Enforcement Blotter of the local paper

" A Fishtail resident reported two men came to her door selling something and offered her a free mini-Kleenex box as a gift. She told the me she was not interested and they left, but the resident thought the incident was strange." Ya think?